"I am the grammarian about whom your mother warned you."
The image reminded me of what some of my own ancestors must have gone through, leaving their ancestral homes, never to return or again see the family they left behind. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. The Eight of Cups is a card that tells of turning our backs on something, running away, leaving something behind. I think right now I’d like to run away from my job, even though I know it would be a mistake. The pay is good, the benefits are good, the environment is pleasant enough. I can’t say I care for most of the people I work with, it’s an odd atmosphere in that respect. I’ve just never been so stressed about a job in my life. I don’t know that it’s worth it. Even if I could find another position now, it wouldn’t look good to bail four short months into this. That’d be hard to explain in an interview. I should try to tough it out for a year, anyway. I’m sorry to whine and complain, I’m fully aware there are people out there who have been looking for work for a long time (several of my co-workers from my last company who were laid off when I was are still unemployed), and I should be grateful to be working, and I am. I just can’t like this job. I was excited about it before I started, but it’s turned out to be nothing like I was expecting, nothing I was prepared for.
Weekends go by in a blur, and before I know it it’s Sunday evening and I’m already dreading Monday morning. I’m increasingly frustrated that I have so little time to write now. If the commute wasn’t as long as it is, and I wasn’t so completely drained by the time I get home at night I might be able to get something accomplished. NaNoWriMo isn’t even a remote possibility this year, even if I wanted to participate. I’ve got enough in the works now that I couldn’t justify signing up for it again anyway. Good thing, because I just don’t have the time.
I should look at it as a new beginning, but all I want to do is run away. I know, it’s childish. I need to just pick myself up by my bootstraps and get on with it.