I guess at this point I have to admit, even to myself, that it ain’t happenin’ this year. I’m 15,000 words behind where I should be at this point, due to many days of not writing anything. I can’t possibly make that up and hit 50,000 by the end of this week.
I think the thing that hurt me the worst was I lost interest in the story I was writing. Yep, it’s true. The characters and plot floundered around for awhile, and ended up in places I never envisioned, and that was not a good thing. It’s so far off-track if I keep going in this vein it will bear almost no resemblance to the original premise I had. So what, you say. Well, I have no fire in my belly for the way it’s shaping up. And if I don’t know who I want these characters to be, if I don’t know what I want them to say, if even I don’t care who they are, why would anyone else?
So the point is, I will not be dragging them across the NaNoWriMo finish line. In time, if I can rework things, I may revisit the whole idea but for now I need to put it aside. I suppose I could just keep banging out words on the keyboard, and in truth I probably will add some to it but I just can’t see making 50,000 by the 30th.
fillingspaces.wordpress.com 
You shouldn’t give up! I also reached a stage where I think “Where am i going with this?”.
I just let it flow as it wants, Fighting againt it won’t take you far.
Een if you don’t make it to 50 000, you shouldn’t give up. Just keep going, and who knows what will come of it.
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Hi anacnunes,
Thanks for the encouragement. I know, I can’t abandon every story as soon as it gets tough. Philip Pullman talked in his pep talk about wanting to give up at page 70. I think I’ve hit that wall, and kind of have the deer-in-the-headlights look now. Not a clue where to take it now. I’d like to finish, and don’t want to give up entirely, but I think I have to face the fact there’s no way I’m going to pull off 25,000 words in the next 6 days. That’s all, I just know I’m not going to hit the 50,000 in time to be a NaNo winner.
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You’re still a winner, because you got in there and did some writing. 25K is nothing to sneeze at. Would you have that, if you hadn’t done Nano? And, if you’re anything like me, you learned a lot through the experience. I say, if your characters are boring you, something very bad needs to happen to them. Like a plague of giant space hamsters, or an invasion of tree dwelling Octopi or something. You know what I mean. And, if you know you can’t make 50K – set a goal you think you can meet and go for it. That way, you’ll still feel some satisfaction instead of a let down. Plus, if it means anything, Trudy who just hit 57K wrote the last stretch hating the story and thinking she’d never work on it again. But by the time she got to the end she’d figured some thing out and was interested in it again.
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Oh, it’s ok. I don’t feel like a failure, and I will probably keep working on it, but I’m not going to make myself crazy trying to finish the 50K this week. I found the whole thing a good experience, whatever the final word count. Maybe I’ll get crazy and toss in a vampire or two 😉 It’s all good. I’m happy that I got this far, frankly, and while there is a sense of let-down knowing I won’t make it to the winners’ circle, I gave it a shot, and it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.
And I appreciate all your support and encouragement. I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been there egging me on.
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You did your best and that’s what really matters. 25 000+ is also a big achievmente.
Hope to see you next year on NaNo.
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Thanks, Ana! 25,000 WAS a lot for me, so I’m happy I was able to do that much. Congratulations on hitting 55,000 words, that’s terrific. I hope you go on to revise it, and get published.
And I will definitely see you next year for NaNo 2009! 🙂
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