Gotta have faith

Back of every creation, supporting it like an arch, is faith. Enthusiasm is nothing: it comes and goes. But if one believes, then miracles occur. — Henry Miller

At the risk of conjuring up images of 80’s pop stars in huge sunglasses and over-gel’ed hair singing and dancing, I have to admit to having yet another crisis of faith. Not in a supernatural entity, but in my WIP. My enthusiasm seems to be waning.

I haven’t been able to write much of anything for days, but this is due at least in part to the fact that spring has finally it seems arrived here in my little corner of the world. Therefore, I am wracked with guilt about trying to spend as much time as possible outdoors, soaking up some sun. Those who live in parts of the country where sunshine is a more regular and reliable commodity cannot understand this. I did not understand this myself when I first moved here seventeen years ago. We came up from sunny California (shhhh, don’t tell!), where good weather was the order of the day seemingly without end. We arrived in a year that saw a particularly sunny and dry spring here, an unusually hot summer, and so I thought all the stories about rainy Oregon were a myth perpetuated by the locals to keep the Californians from moving here and driving up home prices. I remember one particularly warm and sunny day when we were at the mall doing some shopping, for what I have no idea now, and the salesman asked why we weren’t outdoors enjoying the weather. Puzzled, I shrugged. How ridiculous, I thought, what’s the big deal?

Which only goes to show how wrong I can be.

I now know how precious truly fine days are here, they are not to be squandered hanging out at the mall, and the only excuse for finding oneself indoors at the movies on a sunny afternoon is if it also happens to be 100 degrees Fahrenheit and you have no access to air conditioning.

So with all that in mind, it’s been difficult to stay indoors the last couple of days and write, when I so desperately need to be out trying to reclaim what was once my yard from the jungle it has become. I did make some progress on the lilacs which have been entirely neglected, like, forever, but for some reason reward me with masses of fragrant blooms anyway. They make life worth living.

I also seem to have lost some faith in myself. I know, it doesn’t take long for me to cycle up and down. It’s not bi-polar, or manic depression. There are no fantastic highs or mind-numbing lows. There are other forces at play that periodically weigh on me to a degree that affects me enough to notice it. I’m stalled on my WIP, uncertain what to do with it now. I wait for inspiration, but I know the best inspiration is simply to PBIC: Plant Butt In Chair.

4 thoughts on “Gotta have faith

  1. “I wait for inspiration, but I know the best inspiration is simply to PBIC: Plant Butt In Chair. ”

    When you are giving yourself such good advice, there’s not much for your pals to add, but please do give yourself credit for getting outside and enjoying the sunshine – that is going to feed the enthusiasm, which is as important a part of your writer-self as the diligent aspect of your nature, which will be to plant your ass in that chair before long. Nurturing all aspects of your creative spirit is not the same as procrastinating.


  2. Hiya MJ,

    I know, and I have often read how important it is for writers to get outside and get some exercise, even a walk for an hour is so important. Sometimes I’m almost (not quite, but almost) grateful the weather is as crappy as it is here because it gives me an excuse to stay in and write! But once you’ve lived here for awhile, you get over that excuse and learn to go do stuff in the rain anyway. I just get so frustrated with having so little time in general. These day jobs really get in the way 😉


  3. I have the same issue. There isn’t enough time to write and get all this stuff done.

    But many things can be done with only half of my attention, so I can write in my head while my hands are busy.

    Good luck with the WIP.



  4. Hi Kat,

    Thanks for coming by, nice to meet you.

    That’s a good point. As writers we’re always kind of immersed in our projects, even if we’re not actively typing away. I’m always afraid I’ll lose the idea entirely if I don’t get it down quickly so sometimes I actually try to avoid thinking about my WIP when I know I won’t be able to make notes or write anything down. I really think I need a digital voice recorder to carry in the car and make use of my hours commuting!


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