If you grew up in an Irish family…


Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, I received this from a friend who shares both my first and last name, and hails from the same part of the country I do, and so of course we have decided that back along the line somewhere, we are somehow related, and therefore cousins. I don’t know the author of this piece, but I can tell you it was not me, nor my cousin.



1) You will never play professional basketball.

2) You swear very well.

3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office and you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who’s a priest.

4) You think you sing very well.

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!

6) There isn’t a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone.

7) Many of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.

8 ) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.

10) You’re strangely poetic after a few beers.

11) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.

12) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen.

13) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.

14) You may not know the words, but that doesn’t stop you from singing.

15) You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.

16) You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

17) There wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

18) You are, or know someone, named Murph.

19) If you don’t know Murph then you know Mac. If you don’t know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.

20) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

21) You have Irish Alzheimer’s, you forget everything but the grudges!

22) ‘Irish Stew’ is a euphemism for ‘boiled leftovers.’

23) Your skin’s ability to tan not so much. (Only in spots!)

24) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.

25) There’s no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes.

26) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other.  Not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other.

24 thoughts on “If you grew up in an Irish family…

  1. Ah, now my family is different- we never stop speaking to one another; we just get louder and LOUDER.

    Speaking of Irishmen, have you heard of this book “Let the Great World Spin” by Colum McCann? It’s just lovely, one of the best books I’ve read this century.


  2. I have not heard of that book, but I will make a point to find a copy.

    Most of my family is basically shunning one member who has been so vile and detestable over the years that no one even wants her to find out where they live. It’s a ‘moved and left no forwarding address’ situation.


  3. You know someone with the same first and last name as you?!?! I hope you use that for evil or having alot of fun.

    For Example

    * Order a pizza
    * one goes and picks it up
    * second person goes and tried to pick up the ordered pizza


  4. Hehe, that’s evil. I can respect that. 😈

    My “cousin” and I live on opposite sides of the country now, I don’t think the pizza trick is likely to get pulled any time soon 😉


  5. I would be fascinated to meet somebody with the same first and last name as me. The closest I’ve ever come was when my brother married a very nice woman whose first name has the first 3 letters as mine.


  6. Apparently my name is not so uncommon, in general. A woman I work with was so determined to find out how old I am, she actually Googled me and found some site that she claims listed my age. Ever since she told me that, I set up a Google alert on my name. Any time someone runs a search on it, I get an alert. I’ve never had anyone semi-stalk me like that. I don’t typically tell co-workers my age because a) it’s nobody’s business, and b) people make too many assumptions based on age. Anyway, the point is, I generally get at least one alert a day. There’s a bunch of folks around the country with my name, it seems.


  7. Brrr – that’s creepy – what the hell biz it is of hers, how old you are? I’m guessing that she is someone our age or younger, who looks really old, and can’t believe a young-looking babe like yourself has such big kids.


  8. She is a little older than I am, but not much. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. She just wigs out over how young I look compared to herself (she is also extremely overweight). Other than this one weirdness, I really do like her but that just pissed me off that she would do something like that.


  9. You must know how she did it, yes? I just found accurate records of your age, and mine as well.(If you get a Google Alert, that was me!)

    I myself tell people my age b/c I don’t think I look much older or much younger, and I want people to know that this is what a woman my age looks like – not like the 59-year-olds who are lying and CLAIMING to be my age. Have you noticed that some poeple get really caught up in tiny distinctions, like if you are 2 years old or younger than they are? I don’t really give a crap; I consider anyone within a 10-year radius to be my contemporary.


  10. You know, I’ve always felt that way, too. Especially as we get older, the differences become less and less. Now, back when we were 12, there was a big difference between us and someone ten years older or younger, but by now? It’s just not relevant.

    With the ageism that goes on in the workplace these days, I admit I do not readily own up to my age. People do tend to think I’m younger than I am and I’m in no hurry to disabuse them of that notion 😉


  11. I dunno, I’m thinking maybe I’ll start lying and saying I’m 60, so people will think I look great for my age! I have a friend at work who is maybe 10-12 years older than we are [not 100% sure; should I Google her? ;)] and she’s always calling me “kid” and pretending to be ancient, although I’ve told her a million times that a.) we’re contemporaries and b.) we’re even more contemporaries b/c her sig other is the same age as me and c.) if I WAS a kid I’d want to be just like her when I grow up.


  12. I don’t care how old people are; it makes no difference to anything of significance, anyway. I only care that they don’t annoy me. My goal in life is to be that crazy (possible creepy) old guy.


  13. cats, Harleys, tattoos: if we live that long, why settle for just one? (hence my other avatar, Cat Mama) BTW, d’you think I’m ethnic enough to get away with being one of those old ladies who can give the Evil Eye?


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