Vampire Wine


Not kidding.


There is actually a variety of wine bottled called Vampire Wine. I ran across it yesterday in Gothic Beauty magazine, which has a long write up on it. I’m never quite sure how seriously those people at GB take themselves. (I should say, I’ve only bought one copy of the magazine, because there was an interview in it with the love of my life, Ville Valo. In that article, the author spelled the word ‘segue’ as ‘segway.’ The rest of the magazine was similarly riddled with typos and poor grammar, despite the rather artsy, glossy pages. I found the Vampire Wine review online, where they also have a review of the latest Twilight movie, in which the author misspelled Kristen Stewart’s name as “Steward.” I’d say they’re in dire need of a new editor. But anyway…)

Back to the wines: They’ve got several labels: Vampire, Dracula, Trueblood, one called Chateau du Vampire, which come in Merlot, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel, Chardonnay, and so on. There’s even Vampire Vodka, ostensibly available in the traditional clear or a red-colored, which seems to be sold out online, and according to the site’s locator, is not available in my area. Shame. I’d get it just for the campy label. They also have a Witches Brew lager, for those less interested in the blood of the vine, as they say.

So despite the humorous mythical backstory of how Vampire Wine came to be, the vineyard seems to be a small outfit located in Paso Robles, California. To date there is no tasting room, no visitor center where you can go to sample the wares, but that appears to be in the works. The whole shooting match belongs to the TI Beverage Group, Ltd., an importer located in Beverly Hills, CA, and according to Inc.com:

What’s noteworthy: Machat (Michael Machat, CEO) said he’s creating Vampire Vineyards, which will have an inn for visitors; in 1988, sold first bottles to shock rocker Alice Cooper.

They have a Meet the Noir Vampire Pinot Noir that appears to be a French import with their label on it. I’m tempted to get a case to try it, but it’s not quite as economical as Two-Buck Chuck. This stuff averages $15 a bottle, and without being able to try it first, I’m not at all sure I want to cough up $90-115 for a six-bottle case which may prove to be undrinkable (although that seems unlikely).

The site also sells just about anything vampire-related you can think of: clothing, movies, books, wine glasses, chocolates, energy drinks, fangs, temporary tattoos, wine glass markers, and you can get a nifty suitcase package with a mini-picnic containing two bottles of wine, Vampire-branded Belgian chocolates and Vampire coffee. That’s almost worth it just for the cute little suitcase. That thing could hold a few Tarot decks when the contents are drained. (Did I just say that? Yep).

These guys didn’t miss a trick, and I almost feel obligated to check out their wines. Eh, how bad can it be if Alice Cooper drinks the stuff?

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17 thoughts on “Vampire Wine

  1. Really? I never heard of the stuff until yesterday. Not that that means much, I’m not what you’d call a dedicated oenophile. I think I’m going to have to give it a try, those labels are just too fun 😉

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  2. Very cool! I must consider purchasing some for Halloween. And how appropriate as I have a vampire novel coming out this week from Ellora’s Cave! The bottles are darkly delicious looking too. Thanks for the heads up on them, DD!

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  3. Heh, I think they had some kind of Halloween party package, you might look through the site for it. I didn’t really look at that so no idea what’s in it.

    Congrats on the new novel! That’s exciting! 🙂

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    1. Thanks!

      You know, that I think about it I do believe I’ve seen that wine at my local grocery store too. I’ll have to check the liquor section when I go there again.

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  4. Yeah, I about choked when I read that. 🙄 I nearly didn’t buy the mag, but it was an interview with Ville (insert lovelorn sigh) so I had to.

    Do they still allow booze at office parties over there? It’s pretty universally verboten here these days. Even a company-sponsored off-site get together is not supposed to involve alcoholic beverages. We’d never be able to have the Vampire wine for an office party here.

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    1. Goodness, yes!

      I think it’s safe to say that 99.9% of Germans would be utterly baffled at the idea of forbidding grown adults from having a drink at a party! Not to mention that they would no doubt use your story as an example of the US’s weird, hypocritical, purantical mores.

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      1. I don’t think it has much to do with being puritanical. It’s more to avoid the inevitable lawsuits should some asshat have a couple drinks at the office bash, then kill someone on the way home because he was too hammered to drive, then said asshat would sue the company for allowing him to drink and drive.

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  5. Segway? SEGWAY??? O_O

    Vampire wine is great! A good drinking wine. It seems like they’ve expanded in a BIG way since I last drank a bottle (or 3…) If I remember correctly, the Pinot isn’t as good as the Cab, but it’s been a while.

    Another “novelty” wine that’s surprisingly good is “Bitch”. You won’t catch me dead with “Ed Hardy” though!

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  6. As I live and breathe, the writer spelled ‘segway.’

    Oooo, a real recommendation for the wine! Yay! Now, can you get it locally, or do you have to order it over the net? I’m just wondering if my local wine shop might carry it. I guess I could drive over and find out, eh? 😉

    Such intriguing names for wines these days. I’ve had 7 Deadly Zins which is kind of hit and miss, Menage a Trois… trying to think of any others with catchy titles. I’ll take your word for it and avoid “Ed Hardy”. Who he?

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      1. Ah, I’ll have to check some of the local supermarkets. I already know Safeway doesn’t carry it, that’s where I usually buy wine.

        I’ll check the link when I get home. The cyber nanny is blocking it here at work.

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