Vampire Wine

Not kidding.

There is actually a variety of wine bottled called Vampire Wine. I ran across it yesterday in Gothic Beauty magazine, which has a long write up on it. I’m never quite sure how seriously those people at GB take themselves. (I should say, I’ve only bought one copy of the magazine, because there was an interview in it with the love of my life, Ville Valo. In that article, the author spelled the word ‘segue’ as ‘segway.’ The rest of the magazine was similarly riddled with typos and poor grammar, despite the rather artsy, glossy pages. I found the Vampire Wine review online, where they also have a review of the latest Twilight movie, in which the author misspelled Kristen Stewart’s name as “Steward.” I’d say they’re in dire need of a new editor. But anyway…)

Back to the wines: They’ve got several labels: Vampire, Dracula, Trueblood, one called Chateau du Vampire, which come in Merlot, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel, Chardonnay, and so on. There’s even Vampire Vodka, ostensibly available in the traditional clear or a red-colored, which seems to be sold out online, and according to the site’s locator, is not available in my area. Shame. I’d get it just for the campy label. They also have a Witches Brew lager, for those less interested in the blood of the vine, as they say.

So despite the humorous mythical backstory of how Vampire Wine came to be, the vineyard seems to be a small outfit located in Paso Robles, California. To date there is no tasting room, no visitor center where you can go to sample the wares, but that appears to be in the works. The whole shooting match belongs to the TI Beverage Group, Ltd., an importer located in Beverly Hills, CA, and according to Inc.com:

What’s noteworthy: Machat (Michael Machat, CEO) said he’s creating Vampire Vineyards, which will have an inn for visitors; in 1988, sold first bottles to shock rocker Alice Cooper.

They have a Meet the Noir Vampire Pinot Noir that appears to be a French import with their label on it. I’m tempted to get a case to try it, but it’s not quite as economical as Two-Buck Chuck. This stuff averages $15 a bottle, and without being able to try it first, I’m not at all sure I want to cough up $90-115 for a six-bottle case which may prove to be undrinkable (although that seems unlikely).

The site also sells just about anything vampire-related you can think of: clothing, movies, books, wine glasses, chocolates, energy drinks, fangs, temporary tattoos, wine glass markers, and you can get a nifty suitcase package with a mini-picnic containing two bottles of wine, Vampire-branded Belgian chocolates and Vampire coffee. That’s almost worth it just for the cute little suitcase. That thing could hold a few Tarot decks when the contents are drained. (Did I just say that? Yep).

These guys didn’t miss a trick, and I almost feel obligated to check out their wines. Eh, how bad can it be if Alice Cooper drinks the stuff?