random thoughts, writing

Trapezoidal Pegs in Square Cubes

I thought about e-mailing MJ and whining about this, but then I thought some of you might be able to relate to life in cubicle hell and enjoy this.

So the Nebbish arrives at the office roughly 9:30 this morning (nice for him, eh?) I had a few days off from the Nebbish, but he’s back and more of an asshat than ever. Even my overly loquacious boss who likes to hear himself talk and will commandeer virtually any conversation with his own tales of whatever subject has been raised, seemed uninterested in Nebbish’s ramblings this morning. And then, just as I thought he’d gotten over whatever indigestion had caused him to spew minutiae about his phone call with his own boss this morning, he walked over to my boss’s cube (which is next to mine, but Nebbish is just across the aisle and can see into mine which was why I was going to put up the bead curtain, but then didn’t… more on that later) he launched into a story about his upcoming colonoscopy, and why he’s having it. Hand to god, as if anyone cared, he’s standing there telling this, not even trying to talk quietly. My boss made one comment to him in reply, something to the effect of “been there” and then even he was mum on the subject. For crying out loud, TMI!

Now, I realize men get very freaked out about this particular procedure, but I’ve been through a C-section, so forgive me if I’m completely unsympathetic about procedures that don’t involve slicing you open, staples in your gut, and massive painkillers for a week afterwards (all while dealing with a brand new infant).

And the reason I finally decided not to put up the bead curtain was I realized if I did that, if the Nebbish came over to talk to me, he’d actually have to step inside my cube behind said curtain, like a private little tête-à-tête. Not happening. I don’t want that little dweeb anywhere near me, much less hiding in my cube with me.

. Yes, I know this isn’t a trapezoid, but it IS what I’d like to do to the Nebbish. I swear he’s going to end up in one of my novels someday, and it won’t be pretty.


4 thoughts on “Trapezoidal Pegs in Square Cubes”

  1. See why I hate this asswipe? It’s ALL ABOUT HIM. He was widowed last year, lost his wife to cancer, so maybe since he doesn’t have her to talk to anymore, he figures the rest of us are fair game. When he was out on vacation a week ago, taking his son to college somewhere, he called in twice with lame questions. His wife must have mothered him.


  2. heh, it helps to laugh about it. I thought you guys might get a chuckle out of it. I think he’s trolling for sympathy. Honestly, I wish you could see him, and see how accurate “Nebbish” really is. Picture a short, slim, gray-haired (balding) guy with glasses. He recently shaved off his ‘stache, not sure if it’s an improvement or not. He seems to have no upper lip.


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