Posted in writing

I can’t get rid of him

Posted on by D. D. Syrdal

He’s on vacation, in New York and the douchebag Nebbish is e-mailing me to do stuff. Never before have I set up travel for him, but he needed this “ASAP.” Please, let there be a cabbie in New York who will drive him to Timbuktu and leave him there. I’m begging you.

HMFIC completed his move today, so he’s back here next to my cube again. God, it was so nice and quiet for a few short days there. Now he’s busy telling more stories of mice breeding in his luggage when he was in the Marine Corps a million years ago.

Murder me.

Author:

Writer of vampire stories and science fiction. First novel, "Revenants Abroad", available now at Amazon. If you like a vampire you can go out drinking with and still respect yourself in the morning, I think you'd like Andrej.

24 thoughts on “I can’t get rid of him”

  1. LOL, poor DD I don’t mean to laugh at your misery.
    When I first saw your title in my inbox the first thing came to mine was mouse or Nebbish. And to my amazement they are both in your post, lol.
    You never know you might get your wish if the weather is bad where ever he is and the guy who is telling you the mice breeding story must have thought it was very interesting. I wonder how many people have he told the same story too, lol.

    One thing I can definitely say…where you work sounds like it can never be boring:)

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  2. LOL, that’s so funny that you thought of both! Oh, and it gets better. After I booked the trip for him, he comes back and says he wanted it in business class. Somehow he thought he would be able to get international business travel seats for $2100. I laughed when the agent told me it would be $8900.

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    1. Lol, poor Nebbish had to sit with the common folk, lol.
      He should know better if he booked earlier he probably could of got the price for first/business class. But it is really early booking. Since this is last minute international yep high!
      He be okay, lol

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  3. Can’t you “accidentally” send him home by way of New Zealand or something, so he asks you to stop doing stuff for him.

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  5. “Ugh.” is about all I can say. For all the pain that comes with working retail, at least I’m not in a corporate setting anymore. I don’t know which is worse… I’ve got it on good authority that just sitting there, weeping silently, will generally get people to leave you alone. After a few more mousey-luggage tales, you won’t even be faking it! :C

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  6. LOL Half the time I just want to throw things, in any direction. I don’t even care if I hit anything. To me it’s a clear sign he doesn’t have enough to do when he stands around bs’ing about this stuff. I never engage this guy in conversation, ever. I won’t even say ‘good morning’ if I can avoid it. It doesn’t matter what people are talking about, he can always one-up any story. Doesn’t matter. You could be talking about dogs: he’ll tell you about a dog he once had/saw/knew of that did the same thing ONLY WORSE; talk about someone in the family dying, he’ll tell you when someone in HIS family died, and how much worse it was. He’s UN.BE.LIEVABLE. And the story will last minimum 30 minutes.

    Oh, I meant to explain that the mouse tale came up because Overseer stupidly walked over to give HMFIC an update on how his battle with the rats in his house has been going. They’ve had rats in the walls, crawlspace, etc, and have been trapping them for at least a couple weeks now. So naturally HMFIC took this as his cue to segue into a story from 40 years ago about his mice stowaways. See why I never talk to this guy unless I have to.

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  7. So Overseer is such a high-class, educated, French-speaking kind of guy, but he lives in a house with rats?!?!?! I wouldn’t brag about that if I were in his shoes.

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  8. HAHAHAHA!! Yes, and he’s much too eco-conscious and green (and cheap) to hire an exterminator. He’s in a pretty swell area, but apparently there are many places in his house that are not sealed well (read: poorly constructed) where the rats get in looking for food. We’ve had such a wet year they’re being driven out of their usual haunts (the rats, that is) to higher ground in search of living quarters and food, so humans’ houses are looking mighty attractive. Oh, and he hates cats. Loves dogs, has no use for cats. Which serves to support my theory that men who don’t like cats are control freaks. He is every inch a control freak.

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    1. You are on to this guy, 100%. A cat would be the most eco-conscious, green way of getting rid of the rats, but cats are not blindly, unconditionally obedient – sorta like that slinky feline, our own DD – so of course he doesn’t trust them

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  9. First thing this morning (12/21) got the daily status report on the rat situation. I’ll spare you all the details, suffice it to say it wasn’t pretty. I think he’s really proud of himself for dealing with them by himself (baiting traps, not paying an exterminator to poison them, etc.). I can’t figure out why else he’d be so eager to share this with everyone around him every day. As soon as HMFIC gets here I’m sure I’ll hear the whole thing again.

    Thank you all for listening while I vent about these people, too.

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    1. Dr. Blog, did you see the eclipse last night? I wanted to but fell into the stupor of the overworked and forgot to set my alarm. what a lunkhead i am!

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      1. Fang set his alarm and tells me that when it went off I was dead to the world, so he bundled up and went outside solo to take notes for me. He said it was mysteriously red, like a hazy cranberry high in the sky.

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  13. Thanks! Sadly I was not able to watch the eclipse, it was cloudy and raining, like usual here. I checked out some photos online today, but of course there’s no substitute for seeing it as it happens. I got photos of an eclipse a couple years ago that conveniently occurred much earlier in the evening, and on a miraculously clear night.

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