I have some misgivings about posting this, I’m sure I’m going to take a lot of flack for it, but it’s annoying me so here goes. Granted, this only applies to a few.
A number of the men I follow on Twitter mention their wives only to say how beautiful/hot/sexy they are. I know nothing further about the wives in question, except that their husbands would not leave them behind in a zombie apocalypse because they are just too hot or gorgeous or some similar adjective. I suppose it’s nice that they think they have made such a catch, and think so highly of their spouses’ physical appearance. Do guys sit around the office or the local sports bar talking about their wives like this? In eight years in the Navy I don’t recall any of the sailors I served with discussing their wives this way. Lots of other unprintable talk went on, but not this specifically that I can recall.
Why does this bother me? I’m not sure. I guess it’s because for all the noise currently being made about reading, reviewing, discussing female authors, and why they don’t win more of the literary prizes and other similar issues, these male authors seem to have no other use for their wives except as arm candy, trophy wives, sexual objects. I have no idea if any of their wives are writers as well, I’m assuming not. But for all the saber-rattling and righteous indignation about the ‘war on women’ lately, these remarks seem to play into the very mindset that everyone pays lip service to abhoring. It is their right, of course, to discuss their wives in whatever context they please, and I’d be willing to bet the wives in question would be flattered by these remarks. No doubt they are intended as compliments. I’m also sure if I were to mention this to any one of them, they’d be quick to argue with me, and maybe even mention other things they like about the women. So why is their physical appearance the only thing they ever seem to tweet about? They’re not protecting their privacy because a couple of them regularly post photos of their wives.
Am I missing something, somehow clueless here? Are they looking to share, or just waving her under the other guys’ noses? Everytime I see one of the “I just wanted to say how gorgeous my wife is” tweets, I want to tweet back, “That’s nice, now STFU.” Is it considered unmanly to acknowledge these women are actual people, and not just their newest possession? Could they maybe talk about their house or truck for a change?
It makes it sound like if these women were not so ‘smokin’ these guys would never have even given them the time of day. Again, I’m sure to get an argument.
And I know men are ‘visual’ and it’s all about looks. Maybe it’s a monkey-see, monkey-do situation, where one starts and the rest are trying to one-up him? I could unfollow them, true, but apart from this irritating occasional behavior, they generally seem like an intelligent bunch.
By contrast, women, when talking about their boyfriends/husbands/significant others will mention some thoughtful thing the guy did for her, and how much she appreciated it. I’ll have to start watching more closely for the ‘hotness’ comments from the women, but off-hand I don’t recall any (maybe one, but it was included as part of a tweet about fetching some soup or medicine when she was ill). Women tend, by and large, to talk about behaviors, not looks. They’ll talk about how the hubs made pancakes for breakfast or took the kids for the day to give the wife some writing time. I cannot think of a single instance of a guy talking about a wonderful dinner his wife made, or a career accomplishment, or anything other than how gorgeous she is. Maybe I’m just following the wrong people. Or maybe I should just let them enjoy the lust phase of their relationship and turn a deaf ear/blind eye to it.