Posted in random thoughts, writing

More on The Grump

Because I just want to throw things every time I think about this.

Since I’ve known Carol, she has had pretty long hair, most of the way down her back. Although I didn’t think this was a particularly good look for her at her age, it was none of my business and never said anything.

A couple weeks ago Carol arrived at the bus stop in the morning (the Grump had dropped her off) with short hair. I mean, a good 12″-14″ gone. It was just brushing her shoulders now, with some barely detectable layering worked in. Not a great cut, but I know she couldn’t afford a high-end stylist so like most of us has to take her chances with those no-appointment-needed places.

In explaining the sudden change, Carol said, “Last night while we were sleeping The Grump (no she doesn’t call him that) rolled over onto my hair and I couldn’t move. So yesterday when he picked me up (from work) we started driving someplace, and I asked him where we were going. He said it was a surprise.”

So without asking her, he drove her to get her hair cut at one of those strip mall hair cut places. What a guy.

I ask you. And yet somehow it never occurs to her to tell him “No, I don’t want to do that.” Maybe it’s due to her religious beliefs, and feels he’s head of the household and she shouldn’t argue with him. Which makes me want to throw more things. I don’t really know, that’s pure speculation. She’s never actually said anything to that effect. Maybe it’s just easier to go with it than get into a huge argument. But she clearly wasn’t all that happy with the way the cut turned out. She kept fussing with it, saying she didn’t like the layering, and it wouldn’t lay the way she wanted, etc.

I have never in my life known any woman who let a man tell her when or where to get her hair cut. I would have had to kill him, but that’s me. But, I kept my mouth shut about it. If she’s content to live this way, who am I to mouth off and make her feel unhappy? She’s not going to leave him at this point in her life, so why bother.

But I will never understand it.


Writer of vampire stories and science fiction. First novel, "Revenants Abroad", available now at Amazon. If you like a vampire you can go out drinking with and still respect yourself in the morning, I think you'd like Andrej.

11 thoughts on “More on The Grump

  1. Greetings, DD! It has been awhile since I’ve visited your blog. Please forgive me. I totally understand your feelings. No one should assume that just because you’re married, in a relationship, or just so damn overbearing, that it’s okay to tell your significant other what to do. Yet, I agree that it’s their life, and we can only hope that they’ll someday see the light. After, which, they can be brave enough to stand up for themselves, regardless of their relationship status.

    I realize my opinion means squat, considering I’m already alone, but being with someone because you’re afraid to have no one by your side is not a good reason to accept such emotional abuse. Sorry…it kinda hit too close to home. I wish your friend well!

    Take care of yourself, DD! 🙂


    1. Hi Jeff!

      Hope you’re well these days. Well, I don’t think anything is ever going to change between these two. I think they’ve been married for more than 30 years now, I’m sure neither one would be able to envision life without the other at this point. I certainly can’t imagine putting up with someone like the Grump, but I guess Carol can cope with him. She’s not a total mouse, she’ll tell him to stop when he gets too obnoxious. I don’t know why, but this haircut thing really rankled. If I were her, I’d tell him to get rid of the big, bushy, walrusy mustache he’s got! So gross 😛


    1. I know, right? It’s hard to believe in this day and age there are still men like this.

      Wait, no it’s not…(sadly). I still can’t believe she just went along with it.


  2. That’s a frightening degree of controlling behavior. I used to get orders not to cut my hair too short (like it is now) and temper tantrums about red lipstick and leggings, but nothing this extreme.


    1. That’s what I thought, too. I really don’t know if she may have said anything to him about not wanting to cut it, but I know she wasn’t happy with the way it turned out. I was just so appalled that he would haul her off that way to get it cut. I once ditched a guy because he tried to tell me what to wear. Buh-bye. (he wanted me to show up for our date in something that would show off my midriff. UH, no.


  3. I would gnaw my own arm off to get away from that asshole, but never cut my hair for him. And bear in mind that this comes from a woman who cut 10″ off my hair one time, without telling my husband I was gonna do so, b/c I knew he was gonna miss it so much. I came home w/short hair, he got used to it, and that was that.


  4. I can’t speak upon her relationship but wondering she atleast donated the hair to “locks of love”. I use to be a hairstylist and when people come to me to get their hair 8 inches or more cut off I convince them for to atleast give it to someone who needs it instead of wasting it to go in the trash. Wishing you a great week DD.


    1. Ha, no worries 😉 I think she did donate to some group that takes hair. I know it wasn’t Locks of Love, it was one I’d never heard of, I think some Christian organization.


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