Posted in movies, Vampires

Dark Shadows Filming Has Begun is reporting that filming is underway, and has the press release explaining the backstory and how we find Collinwood in the 1970s.

Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better, each harboring their own dark secrets. Matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer) has called upon live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), to help with her family troubles.


Go read the rest and check out the guy they have playing young Barnabas. He has a marked resemblance to Johnny Depp.

Posted in books, Publishing, Vampires, writing

More Misappropriation of Classics

So far we’ve had Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is going to be followed by Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and now we have (wait for it…)

Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer!

I dunno, this thing seems to be taking itself WAAAAY too seriously, it’s described as action/horror.

The next trailer shown was for “Pinnochio the Vampire Slayer” by Dylan Higgins, a black-and-white action/horror comic book starring a character whose slogan is “I’m Pinnochio, I kill vampires.” In this twist on the classic story, Gepetto is killed before Pinnochio can become a real boy, and thus the he instead begins a journey of revenge against all vampires. His weapon of choice is his ever-growing nose, which he breaks off to utilize as a stake to kill vampires. Vado said the buzz for the book is greater than anything he has published before, and he is truly excited for it.


I was laughing by the end of the little promo video. Of course a couple of snarky comments on io9 a few weeks ago about it didn’t help:

Terrified vampire: “Are you here to kill me?”

Pinocchio: “No.”



Sorry, I’m still laughing.

And we’re still waiting for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by the same author who started this whole thing, Seth Grahame-Smith. I don’t know who he’s plagiarizing for this one, but he apparently received an advance to the tune of $575,000. They’re even talking about a movie. As long as it’s billed as a comedy,  fine. The whole concept is so patently ridiculous I hope no one is looking at this as anything other than slapstick. (is that kind of a pun?)