Weekly Card – Nine of Swords

In which we find our heroine battling night terrors and demons. Blargh. Tell me something I don’t know. Definitely not what I was hoping for.  The Nine of Swords indicates worries and concerns, fears, things keeping you up at night, nightmares.

Not like I’ve been waking up with panic attacks or anything :::stares malevolently at Tarot:::

The Swords seem to be just hanging in the air. Maybe I can push them aside to get to the owl. Owls are symbols of wisdom, associated with the goddess Athena (or her Roman counterpart, Minerva), either as a representation of her, or as her messenger. How this came to be no one is sure. You know how things always seem bleaker in the middle of the night. Being away from the office for a week on vacation means a metric ton of crap piling up waiting for me this week. I’ve never felt so stressed out by a job in my life. If I was making big bucks it would be some consolation, but most teachers make more than I do (at least according to Salary.com).

I’ve been focusing on revisions and edits to the vampire novel (yes, I’m still at it). I need to finish this beast and get it out there. Even if it only sells a few copies it’d be a little extra money. I’ll take what I can get. I’m trying so hard to find a way to get out of the daily grind, and earn money as a writer and/or Tarot card reader and be done with the workaday world. We waste our whole lives making other people rich, and we get nothing. Crumbs, if we’re lucky.

That’s where my head is these days. Hopefully once I get back in the office things will fall into place more neatly than I’m imagining them doing.

Weekly Card – Justice

Presented without comment this week.

Weekly Card – The Star redux

Well. Here we are again. :::drums fingers::: Looks like somenone’s not getting the message, or it’s taking longer than we’d hoped/anticipated for things to right themselves.

This is from the Ansata Tarot. It was first published in Germany in 1981. The deck was drawn to accompany a book, “Astrologie und Tarot” by B. A. Mertz, painted by Paul Struck. It’s heavily laden with astrological symbolism. I’ve never been much for astrology, though. Too much math for me. I don’t have Mertz’s book, which is a shame because I’d love to know more about the cards. Like the skeletal face up in the top right corner, reminds me of the “dark mark” from Harry Potter, although this deck predates HP by by almost 20 years. The LWB (little white booklet) that came with the deck says this:

“The Star corresponds to Venus. It symbolizes love, heavenly happiness, the muse or any other gift of heaven. It is mostly a lucky card because it depends on an inner harmony, on an inner openness towards the heavenly powers. The card is therefore often a symbol of hope and of a healing miracle (but neighboring cards may make a big difference). It is the card of femininity filled with happiness.”

I like to read different authors’ takes on the cards, every reader will find something different in the same cards. This one is vastly more slanted towards a spiritual interpretation than many. So what can we draw from this? I think the focus on inner harmony is the salient point here, transcend the mundane physical world to find that happiness. Possibly it’s a sign to pay more attention to spiritual matters if they’ve been neglected for awhile (cough*whome*cough).  It’s been ages since I’ve taken the time to meditate. Maybe now’s a good time to start again.

I’m also going to spend more time writing and probably far less time on Twitter (sob*). It’s sucking up all my writing time. Not that I don’t love chatting with everyone, but time is a precious commodity right now. Going to have to get tough with myself. I am determined to get through editing the vampire novel and get it out for a second round of beta reads. The next few weeks will be tough since I’ll be working both the day job during the week and the Ren Faire on weekends. I’m not entirely sure this was the best decision I ever made, but we’ll see. Maybe the Star is a good omen for how it will go.

So, how is everyone doing?

Weekly Card – The Star

Star light, star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight

I could have sworn I’d pulled this one recently as the weekly card, but I dug through my posts all the way back to March and nada. This is The Star from the Victorian Romantic Tarot. The Star is associated with Aquarius, The Water Bearer, which is an Air sign. The element of Air is associated with the mind and thought, mental processes. It’s a card of faith, hope, optimism. It’s a sign that now is the time to try again, not to give up. Let go of negative thoughts, any anger you’ve been carrying around. Transform yourself, focus on things that have real meaning in your life. Take control of your thinking and channel it in a way that will do you the most good. Have courage, renew your efforts.

Thinking good thoughts for you all for a brighter week.

Weekly Card – Temperance

Temperance from the Victorian Romantic Tarot 2nd edition from Baba Studio is our card this week. This deck is exquisite, with many beautiful cards, but this one is transcendent.

Temperance is precisely that, in the sense of moderation, not total abstinence. It speaks to us of keeping things in balance in our lives, avoiding overindulging in food, drink, even the need to remain faithful to a sexual partner. It’s combining opposites, symbolized by the two different goblets held by the angel, one silver, one gold. One for the subconscious and one for the conscious, a blending of the spiritual and material worlds. In order to be at peace with ourselves we have to come to terms with our dual natures as both physical and spiritual beings. Easier said than done. Some try to eschew the physical and focus solely on their spiritual lives, giving up most interaction with the world, and denying themselves any sort of physical pleasure. Others do the opposite, denying their spiritual sides in pursuit of a hedonistic life.

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

Temperance is the alchemical blending of opposites, refining and distilling them. The blending of fire and water. Temperance is the synthesis of the Empress and Emperor who have sacrificed their egos and joined into one being. When we let go of our egos we can transform ourselves.

Wishing  you a week of peace, healing, and transformation.

 

Weekly Card(s) – Good and Bad

This one’s a two-fer. I wanted to see what the Tarot had to say about a situation, so first up we have the Empress from the Wizard’s Tarot:

The Empress is the ultimate earth mother: nurturing, kind, loving. Everything bursts forth into life for her. We see her here in a wonderful magical greenhouse, drawing all the nature spirits to her. She’s the source of the life force, pregnant with new projects. She’s in a green gown to symbolize her connection to the earth and nature. She’s ruled by Venus, the planet of love, and you can see the glyph of Venus on the mortar (feminine principle) she holds in her left hand. In her right is the pestle (masculine) and as she grinds the herbs, blending masculine and feminine, she releases light and life.

So this is good, I should be able to get my hands on what I need and be able to accomplish what I have to do.

HOWEVER. Not being content with a single card this week, and feeling the call of my Fallen Angel oracle, I shuffled it and drew a card. :::insert annoyed face:::

 

Well, luckily I’ve never put much stock in the little keywords found on the cards and do more investigating about the particular fallen angel pictured. Shax brings a possibility of loss, but only if you don’t approach and deal with him correctly. According to the old magical tomes he needs to be summoned into a triangle to transact business with him. If this is done he’s perfectly compliant. I’m taking that to mean to get my ducks in a row, so to speak, before I take on anyone with potential power over me. Shax has a reputation for stealing and has something to do with demonic horses, but he can also find hidden things, and give good familiars. Ok, Shax, let’s talk. Would you mind standing right there?

So with that in mind, it looks like an interesting week ahead. Hopefully full of wonderful projects (Empress) and be sure to do your homework and have everything ready in advance. Bonne chance, mes amis!

Weekly Card, First Week of June

I thought we needed kittehs this week, so I busted out the Baroque Bohemian Cats.

So. We have The Hierophant, holding the keys to the Kingdom, standing there in his fine robes. I can’t help but think of the ‘Impressive Clergyman’ from The Princess Bride: “Mawwiage… is what bwings us togeva… today.” Ok, no marriage in sight, but he’s pretty impressive.

He indicates rules and regulations, respecting established order and institutions, particularly religious. I always bristle at the sight of him. I dislike knuckling under and following authority, when I don’t always agree with their teachings or methods. It feels restrictive, having to conform and follow traditions. He can also indicate a need to look deeper at a situation, and find a new meaning, uncover wisdom. It’s a time to pay more attention to spiritual matters, learn more. I have been neglecting things lately, perhaps now is the time to take a little time to study more and expand my understanding.

My understanding of my vampire novel has been greatly expanded, in the best way, thanks to my beta reader. I have a lot of work to do on it, lots of work. I don’t know, at what point do you decide it’s just too much to fix and move on to something else? But, I grow as a writer, learning as I go.

Wishing you all a week of growth, but not in a painful way!

Weekly Card, A Bit Late

The Hermit from Ian Daniels Tarot of Vampyres. I’ve felt like a hermit the last few days, locking myself in the house to get the revisions done on the vampire novel and sent off to beta readers. I’ve also been OD’ing on “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” and its soundtrack while I write. Seems fitting on this Memorial Day. Even though it’s a fantasy/horror story, the scenes of the Gettysburg battle and Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg address choked me up. There’s a part of the battle scene that slows, focused on one Union soldier running ahead to engage the Confederate troops, and it’s really quite heartbreaking, nicely filmed.

And look, the card has a wolf on it, and the book talks about this card indicating being a ‘lone wolf.’ :::smacks self in forehead::: It’s a time for introspection, silence, going within yourself for the answers, being isolated. Vampires are outsiders, ‘others.’ What they seek is beyond the confines of everyday mass consumerism. The Hermit contains all four elements, fire (scepter), grail (water, the vessel containing the fire. Grails can hold many things), knife for air, and skulls for earth, all this gained by his journey to the Underworld. The wolf is there to guard the entrance. This is the time to complete a journey, a mission, a quest (the story?).

There’s a need to ignore the rest of the world, don’t be distracted by all the banalities of modern society. As they told the Tie fighters in Star Wars making their run on the Death Star, “Stay on target.” Well, I have one more day off before I head back to the grind. Head down, back to editing.

Enjoy some solitude and downtime this week if you can.

Weekly Card, a Little Late

So, I bet you thought I forgot our weekly card draw. I didn’t, but the weekend was so busy I didn’t have time to scan the card in and do the post. So here it is, mid-week. Check in and let me know how your week’s going.

Four of Cups from the Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan. We have a rather morose little boy with three cups arrayed in front of him, and he doesn’t seem to care to bother with any of them, even the one the lovely mermaid is holding. She’s kind of making the same face he is, whether she’s in the same frame of mind or just mimicking him we don’t know. He’s got choices in front of him, but he’s apparently too mired in boredom to even muster up the interest to notice.

I did get a call from a job agency the other day, which I have yet to call back. I forgot I’d sent them a resume, I’m not even sure when I did. I guess I should follow up on that. Who knows? It could be my ticket out of my current situation.

How’s it with you? Anything on the horizon? Something you need to take another look at?

Endings and Beginnings

I have to apologize, this week’s card is perhaps not as uplifting as some of the others. There is truth in the quote, though. How could an ending not mean a new beginning?

The image reminded me of what some of my own ancestors must have gone through, leaving their ancestral homes, never to return or again see the family they left behind. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. The Eight of Cups is a card that tells of turning our backs on something, running away, leaving something behind. I think right now I’d like to run away from my job, even though I know it would be a mistake. The pay is good, the benefits are good, the environment is pleasant enough. I can’t say I care for most of the people I work with, it’s an odd atmosphere in that respect. I’ve just never been so stressed about a job in my life. I don’t know that it’s worth it. Even if I could find another position now, it wouldn’t look good to bail four short months into this. That’d be hard to explain in an interview. I should try to tough it out for a year, anyway. I’m sorry to whine and complain, I’m fully aware there are people out there who have been looking for work for a long time (several of my co-workers from my last company who were laid off when I was are still unemployed), and I should be grateful to be working, and I am. I just can’t like this job. I was excited about it before I started, but it’s turned out to be nothing like I was expecting, nothing I was prepared for.

Weekends go by in a blur, and before I know it it’s Sunday evening and I’m already dreading Monday morning. I’m increasingly frustrated that I have so little time to write now. If the commute wasn’t as long as it is, and I wasn’t so completely drained by the time I get home at night I might be able to get something accomplished. NaNoWriMo isn’t even a remote possibility this year, even if I wanted to participate. I’ve got enough in the works now that I couldn’t justify signing up for it again anyway. Good thing, because I just don’t have the time.

I should look at it as a new beginning, but all I want to do is run away. I know, it’s childish. I need to just pick myself up by my bootstraps and get on with it.